20 December 2015

Marry me!

I have been hearing too many stories about bad marriages lately that relationships and marriages have began to scare me. I don't dream about a prince charming on a white horse anymore. Instead, I run away from men who show interest in me, who are nice to me, or who tell they want to be more than just friends with me.

It's not only others' marriages but my failure in understanding what exactly I want from a marriage - that is if I ever get married - that's holding me back. Love - honestly, I know nothing about love between a man and a woman. Sex - is good sex enough for a relationship to survive forever? Money - I can earn it, no? Companionship - whatever that means! What should I choose? Whom should I choose? What's important and what isn't? I wish there was an easier way to figure these things out.

However, after brainstorming with my mother and close friends for hours, I supposed that passable looks, education and good communication skills are the most important qualities that I want in the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with. (I know I am not an employer and he ain't a job seeker, still...)

Then, I recalled one of my friends, who liked me enough to ask me to marry him (or so I thought at that moment), telling that he likes my broad-mindedness. He was good-looking and as educated as I am. I felt flattered...only until he explained what he expected from his broadminded wife. I was appalled by his confession. Broad-minded person was meant to tolerate infidelity as well. After that, faithfulness was added to the list of qualities I sought in my groom.

I looked and looked again but couldn't find a man who had all these qualities, and whenever I thought he has everything, I ran away from him. Am I just avoiding relationships or haven't met the right guy yet? I don't know. Whatever it is, it is plain annoying. Sometimes, I wish the concept of marriage hadn't existed at all. At least, I wish I didn't care enough about either my parents' views when it comes to my marriage or their worry about what society may think of them if I end up as a spinster.

Oh no, I don't want to get married because my parents want me to get married. Perhaps, it triggered things, but now I want to marry because I think it would be nice to get married. Oh, whatever! I have created this perfect man in my head and that's the end of everything. I know I am contradicting myself when I speak about this perfect man as I already said that I am not looking forward to meet any prince charming on a white horse. What I am actually trying to tell is I have given up on the idea of meeting a nice guy who would actually make me want to get married, to him, of course. 

Yes, marriage is always on my mind because that's all everyone I meet these days talk about. But, I somehow feel that I try really hard to avoid it, postpone it, or whatever.

One last thing - staying single is not all that bad. Marriage can't be bad either, no? Everyone does it. Oh, I am confused again so I will break this train of thought here and get some work done.


  1. Günlük ev günlük ev, kiralık ev, istanbul günlük ev günlük ev ilanları.

  2. I am really glad to read it essay writers
    and being able to share my thoughts on it. I want to use this opportunity to say that I really love this blog. It is an amazing resource of information for my working. Thank you so much.

  3. We have millions of presumptions in our head when we are at the verge of getting into something. Not sure what is right and what is wrong. Who is right who is wrong. But finally when it happens, you'll think why didn't those million thoughts involve this angle. What happens in real life goes way beyond our thought process. You inspired me to write, how can your writing fall short of being a good read :)

  4. Thank you for writing so interesting blog.

    Affinity can play together, I hope you can play runescape

  5. The VASHIKARAN MANTRA that might be recited or the solutions provided by the astrologer for your problems are always towards the positive side. If you intend to do something negative, these VASHIKARAN mantras won't work. Similarly, you need to have faith in the term 'astrology'; else you can never experience positive results.