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18 January 2010

Concupiscence

"Bless the devil! Everyone and everything will die if the temperature remains so low for another day. I wish I had put on some more warm clothes. This seemed enough when I left home. Goddamn! I always forget to wear gloves. Why did I have to become a soldier? I could have been an accountant or a librarian, instead. Mother always tells me that she had never imagined that I will become a soldier, but Jessie had fallen for it, not only her but most women fancy soldiers. Soldiers are tough guys after all and women are always into either bad or tough guys".


"How much I wish I was in bed, making love to Jessie, instead of entertaining some cock and bull story. In small towns, everyone knows what others are up to and when one talks, everyone joins him. People talk anything and everything. Now, they are talking about night-walkers. I'm aware that people are going missing but that doesn't mean they are hunted down by some bloody blood-sucking creatures from the myth".

"I can surely do with some brandy before taking Charlie's place. I have been hearing rumors about him. They say he takes home, whores. I too wanna get laid. Its been long since I slept with a woman. Jessie doesn't let me touch her since she got pregnant. At first, I had been very excited about her pregnancy but now I wish otherwise. Its not like I'm not happy about becoming a father, its just that I miss a feminine touch and eagerly want to get laid with someone. Even a whore will do".

"I know its wrong to be cheating on my wife, but it is very difficult to think sense when concupiscence takes over other feelings. I'm sure sleeping with another woman for once won't lessen my love for Jessie. She is after all my wife".

"One usual", I ordered at Tom's.

"Everyone here knows me not for I'm a regular but I'm a soldier. One and the only one good thing about being a soldier. Holy cow! I guess every women in the room is checking me out. Its a complement, nevertheless not a favoring situation when one wants to get laid with one among them. There are all kind of women in the room. Women of all ages. None seems to be as pretty as Jessie, not even close to her. Some faces are familiar, some pretty and some wrinkled".

"The lady in the blue gown looks alright. I don't recall seeing her before".

"Hello, Miss" I joined her at her table. She didn't react at once, instead she stared at me, blankly. Then, she kept a tobacco pipe in her mouth and lighted it. She inhaled the smoke and then exhaled it. All the time, her green eyes were probing me. It was asking, "What do you want?" but I did not want to answer. I wanted her to ask it, herself. Finally she did, "What do you want from me, Mister?"

"To be frank, I want nothing. I was just looking around and dropped in at your table to say 'hello'".

"I appreciate that but I was just wondering do we know each other".

"I can't believe it. Here, the lady is asking whether she knows me when I had thought that everyone down here knew me". I guess she read my thoughts, she added, "I'm new here".

"Oh! I see. I'm a soldier". She immediately asked, "and why would a soldier want to say 'hello' to me?"

"Don't take me wrong, Miss. I was just wondering whether we can go for a walk, together".

She said, "I would be honored but I could do with another drink".

"Then, let me buy you one".

She didn't even touch the drink, she just kept on asking about the night-walkers. She said she was curious. She also said she had never heard any such story back at her hometown.

When I inquired whom in the town she was visiting, she didn't answer, instead she said, "Now, lets leave".

While I paid for the drink, she waited outside. As we walked, I noticed her skin that was paler than the snow. Her hair flew in rhythm with the cold breeze.

"She is worth cheating on wifey. I can do with the cheating not only for today but as long as I can".

"Where do you want to go, Mister?" she asked.

"My name is Sammie". She pretended not to have heard me and said, "Lets go to the park".

"I wonder what is going on in her mind. She isn't talking much. She is just saying either 'yes' or 'no' to whatever I say. She is avoiding questions about her. Its not like I mind it. I am concerned about how I am going to ask her to get to bed with me. I know she is gonna be good in bed, my instincts are saying so".

"We reached the park and I am still wondering how to ask her. I should really take some flirting tips from Charlie. Holy cow! She is standing so close to me and I guess she is getting closer".

I asked, "What?" and before I could ask anything else, she locked my lips with hers.

I couldn't help but enjoy her touches and kisses. Her skin was colder than the ice but it ignited fire within me, a wild fire. I hugged her tightly and kissed frantically.

"Sammie, what are you doing here?"

Charlie was standing with a lady who had similar green eyes like the lady I had been kissing until now and then, she wasn't there anymore. I was hugging the void.

"Night walker!"

27 comments:

  1. This is your best. Awesome! The ending was least expected.

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  2. Superb story..I enjoyed it but a small flaw..Not a flaw exactly..I suggest you to change the title of the post..The title "night walker" makes the reader assume things beforehand..The spice of the twist will be 100 times more effective if its kept as a suspense..Whatever it is..It was a lovely story..Thoroughly enjoyed it..:)

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  3. good one..
    but the night-walker was so easy to guess..

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  4. First time here! you seem to rock with such short fictions! Look forward to be frequent here :)

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  5. a good story but i thought some of the sentence constructions could have been better....I think you have captured the flow very well.
    kudos. keep writing..

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  6. Hey good stuff...superb narration...I kept reading in anticipation...totally unexpected ending!

    Cheers! :)

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  7. Angel
    Thanks for visiting my blog. I'm glad you liked it. :)

    Karthik
    I will try to write better stories. Anyways, thanks for visiting my blog. :)

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  8. Vamsi
    I have changed the title to keep the suspense and not give away any clue about the ending. Thanks for appreciating the story otherwise. :)

    Sundeep
    I have changed the title now. I guess it shouldn't be so easy to guess now.
    Thanks for visiting my blog. :)

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  9. Mohan
    Welcome to my blog. I am glad you liked the shorty stories I write. Even, I am looking forward to see more of you here.
    Thanks! :)

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  10. Gyanban
    I was just wondering whether you could point out where the sentence construction could have been better, because I read it again and again and I fail to get it. I am very bad at pointing out my own mistakes. :( Please do let me know if you could help. :)
    Anyways, thanks for visiting the blog. :)

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  11. Dangy

    Thanks for visiting the blog and I am happy you enjoyed reading the story. :)

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  12. dis is good :) reminded me about your another post written earlier - "A blind encounter"

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  13. Nethra,

    well, I did not concentrate much on the title..
    i guessed it based on a paragraph where the protagonist says that now talk is on abt night-walkers and ppl missing.. i took those lines to be the actual aim of the story and easily guessed the culprit...
    u can say it was just coincidence that i happened to do so :)

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  14. Neel
    Thanks again for taking out time to read the story. I had guessed you will tell this when I wrote this story. :)

    Sundeep
    Well! Mentioning night walkers before the ending was important. Anyways, writing is all about narration not the suspense, right?
    Thanks again for your honest opinion. :)

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  15. Nice way to put a story across, but i guess, by nightwalker you don't mean a vampire? it sure didn't feel like one

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  16. Well done.. Was reading in anticipation till the very end.. Crisp but chilly :) Also, the language used is much more lucid compared to other posts of yours.. :)

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  17. yeah Nethra,
    agree.. narration is what matters and it is very good in this story..

    but as to suspense, it is not much..

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  18. Mural
    Yes, it is Vampire. Vampires need not be scary, they can be seductive too.
    Thanks for visiting the blog. I really appreciate it. :)

    Pooja
    Thanks Pooja. I will try to write better than this. :)

    Sundeep
    I will keep in mind about suspense thing next time and try harder. I suppose I am not very good at it, but I will surely learn it.
    Thanks again. :)

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  19. Nice... the story grabs you. keep it coming.
    http://henceproved.co.cc/

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  20. Nice story!

    Keep coming!

    VAMSEE

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  21. Great narration nethra. gripping :)

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  22. awesome...gripping and very smartly woven ....

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  23. Bobby
    Thanks for visiting the blog. :)
    I will surely try to write better stories. :)

    Vamsee
    Thanks for visiting the blog. :)

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  24. Megha
    Thanks for visiting the blog, Megha. :)

    Shahid
    Thanks for appreciating my work. :)

    ReplyDelete
  25. Sumathi
    Wanted to make it more ero but I didn't wanna be tagged so kept it simple. :)

    ReplyDelete