11 September 2014

Two paths diverged in the woods

Growing old is inevitable, however feeling old is optional. I realize with each passing day I am getting older and becoming wiser (perhaps not), but I don’t feel old enough to be figuring out someone else's dinner, putting a kid to sleep, and answering to people other than my parents. When I am still working out how to handle trivial affairs of a so called grand life, when I still spend my days anticipating its vital moves, I see my friends battle with bigger and meaner demons. 

Most of my batch mates are already married (both older and younger ones) and half of them even have kids. Every day, they ceremoniously wake up, clean, cook, and commute in slow moving traffics to offices that are miles away from home just to make ends meet. No, I am not demeaning them, I am merely observing their unbearably mundane lives. First of all, they have no time for a hobby (oh they don't even have time to return the calls they miss), and their world mostly revolves around their spouses and kids. 

Family is obviously important, maybe even the most important thing for few, but it can't be reason enough to lose one's individuality. Compromising on anything beyond a healthy threshold is a crime against oneself and against the person who will have to eat the fruit of your guilt and frustration. Hey, also… why should someone else like, love, or respect you, when you don’t even care about yourself?

I have also come to understand how important it is for these people to appear to be living good and happy lives in front of the society. Oh, most of my friends do it. They dress up nice, visit exotic or fun places, take pictures and upload them on every social networking sites. There was a time when I was disillusioned by their performances, but now, I see them for who they are. Their false felicity doesn’t charm me anymore. The colors of their charming lives looks faded now.

I don’t have only boring people for friends. Few of my friends are free souls, they follow their dreams instead of living lives being one among the crowd. They are always trying to find peace within them. They don’t let the norms of the society burden them. The institution of marriage and slavery don’t bind them…their worlds are much bigger and they live their lives exploring these worlds. For them, even sky is not the limit.

At the moment, I am trying to find a midway…a way to live freely, but with someone who shares my interests. I understand that I will have to give up on some things and embrace few other things, because one cannot have it all, and currently, I am preparing myself to be able to do that. I am still preparing…I am sure that I am not ready yet. 

1 comment:

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