Love, unknown

Social networking sites on Internet embraced her with open arms while assuring freedom from her loneliness. She had couple of friends from her school and college, but they were busy chasing their dreams and it left her craving for some company and attention. Internet offered plenty of it. She met like-minded people and they always made her feel wanted. Unlike others, she found life in the virtual world.

Exchanging names, then exchanging phone-numbers, an hour chit-chat and finally meeting up in real, it was easier than she had supposed. She knew what she wanted and she was ready to pay any price to get it, the price being time. Sometimes, she would also explore the real world. If she encountered someone in a pub or saw someone on street checking her out, then she would encourage them with a smile and sometimes even befriend them. The Virtual world had not only taken away her loneliness but it had made her confident. Now, she had a reason to smile and people, whom she could call friends.

Though her hunger for attention was satisfied, it had triggered a new desire inside her. She wanted to experiment. She wanted something more than just momentary attention and noncommittal friendships, more than movies and hangouts at cafes. She wanted to let her hair down and groove with the latest trend. She wanted to wind up her male acquaintances and then get it on with them.

A girl who was once shy to even return a smile whenever someone smiled at her, started picking up strangers from pubs and streets. She had became a sex maniac and she couldn't think about anything else but getting laid. Sleeping with her boss for appraisals and promotions didn't seem unethical anymore. She loved the way her colleagues ogled at her whenever she wore skin-tight dresses. In supposedly the latest trend, she had lost the real her, she had lost her innocence.

She wasn't really aware of what she was doing and she wanted it that way. She was done thinking morals and wanted others to understand that she was a woman, and it was very normal for her to enjoy sex, as normal as breathing. She wasn't like those people who pretended that they can control the animal instincts and she hated such hypocrites. While justifying her thirst, she overlooked the fact that even youth pass away like other things, it would decay with time and once again, she would be left alone with her loneliness.

"Are we meeting tonight?" he asked.

Saying, "We can't, sweetie. I've to be somewhere else", she hung up the call and that is when her cellphone beeped. It was Suhas again and it was the hundredth time that he had text-ed, "I love you" since morning. She didn't like when guys played love to bed her. She would have gone to him willingly, only if he had been honest about his feelings for her, but now she had no interest in him. He had sent her a card along with some white lilies. They were her favorites and yet, she had returned them. She knew that she wasn't made for love and whether the guy was honest or not, she didn't like the love games anymore. She replied, "I would appreciate it if you just stopped it".

And she never heard from him, not for a very long time.

As she grew older, she embraced her loneliness and the friends whom she had met online, offline were lost and forgotten. She hadn't made any new friends and had never tried to get back to any of the old ones. She didn't even remember any of their names or faces. She had also forgotten the passwords for all the accounts on all those social networking sites, which had once been her companions. Now, she hardly noticed anyone while walking on the street, no matter whether they looked at her or not.

She had silent breakfasts, silent dinners and lonely long walks, everyday. However, she was still the same beautiful woman with same pair of appealing eyes, to whom love was still unknown.

"This is for you, ma'am", the boy said. A smile lit his face when she tipped him more than what he had expected her to. He had brought her white lilies, her favorites and a note along with it.

Dear Aarthi,

I'm not sure whether you remember me, but years ago when I had expressed my love to you, you hadn't believed me. Now, I want to tell you something that I couldn't tell you then. I had really meant when I had told, "I love you" to you.

Yours,
Suhas

She couldn't help but laugh reading the note. She wondered why men still wanted to play love with her, though she was too old to be bedded.