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18 February 2015

Pain

Who likes to indulge in self pity? At least, I don't. I have got a big ego that doesn't permit me to display my hurt. I would rather die than show weakness in front of those people who didn't think twice before hurting me. Anyway, would it matter to them even if they knew how much I was hurting? I guess not. So, why bother?

These days, I quite often find myself seeking my old self - the overly confident girl who thought she could do anything and the overly jovial girl who made everyone around her smile. I really miss the old me. Also, I am scared that the insecurities that are chewing my insides at the moment will consume me and, eventually, destroy me. I see that the confidence and the happiness that once defined me are diluting. I wonder what will happen to me if they wear off completely...the thought really scares me.

How did it come to this? What went wrong? What did I do wrong? Will I ever return to my old self? How long it may take for that? Then...is there any use in musing over these things? Such questions haunt me. I am not a masochist. Even I don't want to be pondering over such things and keep hurting myself, while I could be spending my waking hours doing something productive. Sigh! I wish it was that easy. 

Pain comes to you at moments...err...actually, it doesn't come to you because it's always been there, following you like a shadow, like an unavoidable companion. You will know if you been there before.

Anyway, it is not all sad. Though I terribly miss my past, I am trying to embrace my present.  Who knows what the future holds? I hope all goes well.

2 comments:

  1. Pain is an inclination activated in the sensory system. Agony might be sharp or dull. It might travel every which way, or it might be steady. You may feel torment in one territory of your body, for example, your back, stomach area or mid-section or you may feel torment all over, for example, when your muscles throb from this season's cold virus.

    Agony can be useful in diagnosing an issue. Without torment, you may truly hurt yourself without knowing it, or you won't not understand you have a medicinal issue that necessities treatment. When you deal with the issue, torment more often than not leaves. Be that as it may, here and there torment continues for a considerable length of time, months or even years. This is called interminable torment. Once in a while perpetual agony is because of a continuous cause, for example, disease or joint pain. Some of the time the cause is obscure.
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  2. The VASHIKARAN MANTRA that might be recited or the solutions provided by the astrologer for your problems are always towards the positive side. If you intend to do something negative, these VASHIKARAN mantras won't work. Similarly, you need to have faith in the term 'astrology'; else you can never experience positive results.

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