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07 August 2010

Goodbye

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 13; the thirteenth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.
I was so obsessed with this particular television series that I wouldn't miss any of its episodes, no matter what. The storyline was so good that it made me want to watch it over and over. It might sound insane but I suppose that I was in love with the protagonist and about whether I still posses such strong feelings for him or not, I do not know. However, he's on my mind often, more than he ought to be. You must be wondering whether am I not misinterpreting my feelings for him and it could be that I’m just attracted to him. Trust me! I've seen more good looking men than him but none have managed to haunt my thoughts and dreams for so long. It might not be love but surely not just an infatuation.

Anyway, it doesn't matter whether you believe it or not. What's important is my feelings for him and what I'm going to do about them. I know that you're thinking that all that I can do is forget him. Come-on! I'm not going to give up so easily. I wouldn’t have wanted to act if it was just a teeny-weeny crush but I can tell that it isn’t. Every time I see him, I blush and when I hear his voice, my heart speeds up. If it isn’t love then what it is? Whatever it is, it’s a troublesome feeling to handle. I'm sure that I can never get him out of my head, at least not like this.

What if he is the one I'm destined to be with? Would you still ask me to sit back and do nothing? I know that you don't believe in destinies, even I didn't until I saw him. I don't want to live with any regrets and keep asking "What if's" until I die, so I've decided to fly to Japan to see him. I would prefer standing face to face, looking into his eyes and learn my true feelings for him. Don’t worry! I’m not going to spend all my savings and go on a holiday. I’m just taking a job there and that’s better than going on my own.

And about how I’m going to meet him once I’m there, I’ve already fixed that. One of my colleagues knows someone who works with a group that organizes stage plays and I’ve been introduced to that person. Though he is a part of the technical team, he has assured me that I would be able to see the entire crew.

I wanted to see him so badly, so badly that I finally flew to Japan…

“How was your journey, ma’am?” he asked. Though his Japanese accented English was difficult to understand I managed a “Yes!” He was my company’s man, who would take me to the company’s apartment.

The apartment wasn’t very big but more than enough considering that nobody would be visiting me. I don’t think that I would ever get a chance of inviting him over. If he invites me to his place then that would be another story but I wonder whether such a thing would ever happen.

“I would be leaving now but feel free to call me if you need anything, ma’am” he said. Bowing a little, I thanked him for everything and I must say that he looked quite impressed. After he left, I decided to take a little stroll and get familiar with the neighborhood. After all, I would be staying here for awhile. 

My first day at work was great. Everyone greeted me warmly and made me feel at home, but I was looking forward to go to my ex-colleague’s friend’s workplace, to see the man for whom I was at Japan, away from home.

And for the big day…it finally came. First, I was in the same building where he was practicing for the coming up show and then we were in the same hall but I was behind the screen watching him practice. My heart was beating so loudly that I feared that it would burst if it continued beating so loud and fast. Then before I knew I was standing in front of him, looking into his eyes. Oh yes! Even he was looking at me but his expression wasn’t anything like I’d dreamed off. I had played this day…this very moment in my mind, again and again, but not for a moment I’d considered his feelings. Obviously, he didn’t know that I’d travelled all the way from India to Japan just to see him. Even if I told him that, I wondered whether it would really matter. For him, I would be just another of his crazy fans.

He asked, “What?”

“Eh?”

He said, “You’re staring at me”.

I wanted to see him once but now I realize that I just wanted to prove to myself that my feelings for him that I’d tagged as love was just a dream. I was in love with the characters that he portrayed on screen and it was never really him.

I said, “Goodbye!” and that's all I'd to say. I was really glad that I'd come to Japan to see him, to realize my true feelings. Sometimes, saying goodbye is better than clinging to a dream...than living a lie.
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53 comments:

  1. What an anti climax! Nice play of words, you made me anticipate the meeting along with the star struck girl

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  2. OMG Nethra super-duper awesome story. Finally the protagonist realizes that she is actually in love with the character he plays onscreen and not HIM.

    I'm sure even Matsujun would be proud of you if he read your story. :P
    I think I'll vote for you in this BAT!

    P.S: Believe it or not even I dreamt of him once.

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  3. I fully agree with you Nethra on your opinion;

    "Sometimes, saying goodbye is better than clinging to a dream...than living a lie."

    A comforting lie is sweet sounding but a jarring truth is hurtful. It is better to find the truth than live a lie.

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  4. Awesome story,very well narrated and with a gr8 message that "sometimes saying goodbye is better than clinging to a dream...than living a lie."
    Love needs to be tested sometimes to prove that it, actually ,is love.
    All the best!:)

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  5. Wow!! Is it one of those characters in the series you n Sammy keep discussing on twitter?? I have been wanting to ask u guys what it was all the way...! :) I have always fallen in love with the mail character in shows I love!! wonderfully played with words.. loved it!!:)

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  6. yeahhh we love the character played by the actors and not actua;;y them... that is so true...
    well narrated :D

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  7. wow, another of the famous Nethra twists...

    such a wonderful msg at the end..

    liked it very much and very well written :)

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  8. oohh simply superb !!
    loved the flow of the post with such a nice message :)

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  9. Hey Nethra, didnot know it will end like this! i loved the last sentence! all the best for BAT.

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  10. Loving a character and not a person :)
    Nice concept though :)
    Gud luck :)
    Shruti

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  11. Sometimes, saying goodbye is better than clinging to a dream...than living a lie.: Very impressive line, I must say.. :) ATB

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  12. hmm nice narration though the ending wasn't entirely unexpected... anyways liked the way u wen about it.. all the best for BAT..

    Cheers
    Tavish

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  13. Hahahaha! really enjoyed reading this post of yours..u went all the way to japan? wow! and is he the one commenting on your post in japenese up here ...;)) ..
    yeah star craze infactuations are only dreams, the sooner one realizes the better and one can go on with their lives...liked it :))

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  14. Loved the ending! Very well written and the climax was the best part! Many people don't realize being infatuated with the celebrity's character is entirely different than actually liking the real personality of the person in question.

    Best of luck. =)

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  15. Hey Nethra, good story. We all have been there atleast once na? In loved with a perso due to the character he portrayed. :) all the best for BATOM.

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  16. Ritu
    Glad that it was able to make you curious.

    Samadrita
    I'm so much in love with Domyouji Tsukasa. If Matsujun reads this story then...I donno...I will be on top of the world. And about you voting me, thanks because I hardly get votes when it comes to BAT.

    Rumya
    Sometimes that lie would be so sweet until we face the consequences.

    Jaspreet
    Well said! Love should always be tested.

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  17. Deeps!
    If you watch the drama "Hana Yori Dango", for sure even you will fall in love with Domyouji Tsukasa.

    Rajlakshmi
    Fantasizing about a character isn't anything new. We always do that.

    Sundeep
    I'm glad that you liked it.

    Deepa
    Thank you girl!

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  18. A Restless Mind, Shruti, Magiceye ad Guddu
    Thank you guys!

    Tavish
    After all "goodbye" was the title so I'm not surprised that you could predict the ending.

    Puspee
    It's just a fiction and I wish he was the one who's commenting in Jap here.

    R Zaib
    But we can't help but love our favorite characters, right?

    Maddie
    I've been there more than once.:P

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  19. Nice narration there..All the way to Japan eh? But yes, I agree sometimes it's better to say goodbye than hanging on to something which isn't meant for you. There's always a better thing in store for you. All the best for BAT!

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  20. Nethra,

    You are back with a awesome write up. I have to say this, "Nethra is a unique writer". I loved the climax. Great. All The Best for BAT 13.

    PS: Today is the last day to vote for Billion Heart Beating Competition. Do read my Save a Heart initiative, pledge and vote if you think it is worth doing so.

    I hope you will be regular on my blog.

    gmsaravana - Goodbye

    Yours Frendly,
    Someone Is Special

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  21. Phew!! The last statement! So true. Narrated very well. Sometimes its best to say Goodbye! All the best for BAT

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  22. oh finally sum diff story :D nicely written n a nice msg @ d end :p

    -Devilzangel
    http://collected-cryptics.blogspot.com

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  23. Ahh celebrity infatuation! We gals can get carried away ;)
    Nicely written :)

    ATB for BAT13
    Gkam - Goodbye

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  24. I really had some problems with the story line. Your narration was as usual good. But certainly not the better works of your

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  25. So true! I was not having any hopes or expectations or waiting for any twists while reading your post, but I so liked the ending line. Good work!

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  26. Loved the story girl.. have seen people go crazy over filmstars.. I liked the ending the most.. last few sentences convey a lot.. good luck for BATOM :)

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  27. A refreshing story :) Nice!

    Just a quick suggestion, in the first couple of paragraphs, you have addressed the reader (with words like..."you might think") too many times. Let the reader think whatever he wishes to...u just keep telling ur story. This is just how i think...u may choose to differ ;)

    Overall...I so very loved this girl for following her dream and finding the truth behind it :)

    all the best for BAT!!!

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  28. Loved the way you ended your story.

    But why Japan?????

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  29. Most stars tend to disappoint us star-struck ordinary people. :D I, for instance, lost interest in a show because the guy turned out be full of attitude in real life. Yeah, I had a huge crush on him before meeting him. :P

    And what Japanese show? American or British would have connected better, right? Just my opinion.

    All the best!

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  30. nothing wrong with loving characters... thats what characters are for... as long as we keep our sanity and are able to tell the difference

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  31. Great Write Up!! All the Best for BAT 13!! I couldn't participate this time as i was travelling :(

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  32. Your writting could change the world that you want. Express your thoughts!!. Politics , Business , Entertainment , Sports & Games , Life & Events ,and Health what else?. Meet your like minded here. The top social gathering in one place all the top notches meet here. It is not about win the race, participation is all matters. We proud inviting you to the the internet's best Social community. www.jeejix.com .

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  33. That's a wonderful tale of celebrity worshiping. It is proven that celebrity worship is good for one's self-esteem!! :D
    Loved the last line.
    All the best for BAT-13!
    Cheers :)

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  34. UB
    I couldn't have said anything wiser.

    Saravana
    I did vote and thanks for always appreciating my writings.

    Insignia
    Though painful, sometimes goodbyes are better options.

    Devilzangel
    I too liked the message. :)

    gkam
    Getting carried away is quite sweet, isn't it? ;)

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  35. Venky
    Problem with the story line?!? I will try to write better stories. Thanks for your honest feedback! I really appreciate it. :)

    Vee
    I'm glad you liked it. :)

    evanescentthoughts
    Even I'm crazy about a celebrity at the moment. My craziness inspired me to write this story. :P

    Mayur
    I understand that I was trying to impose my thoughts on the readers but that's what I'd meant to do.

    Purba
    That's because I'm fantasizing about a Japanese actor currently. :P

    Keerthi
    You met that guy in real?!? Wow! I hope to meet him someday. I mean my Japanese guy. :P

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  36. Viyoma
    Thank you! :)

    Worthless
    But we get carried away, don't we? Love is sweet, doesn't matter whom we love...the character or the actor himself.

    Swathi
    There's always a next time. Don't feel low. :)

    sweatha
    Thanks! :)

    Shilpa
    Celebrity worshiping is good? That's really shocking. :O

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  37. the writing about television is more interesting than television itself (these days to a certain extent)!
    all the best!

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  38. Hey Nethra, tht was a vry intrsting and unique take on the topic.. kudos :)

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  39. I like the difference in perspective. It is better that goodbyes are accepted with grace. Not sure at all if others think about it the same way. I suppose, I swing between the hope and despair depending on who the goodbyes are for.
    All the best.
    I like your perspective Nethra! Good one!

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  40. Hi .. There is some problem with your feed I guess--- Please check...

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  41. Good one Nethra..The protagonist seems to be very much like you.. Nice ending..It is good that the girl has realized what is reality and what isn't. :) Initially it was only ur twitter account, Now the japanese guys have invaded ur blog too :P lol.. Anyways, Nice write up. :)

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  42. Nethralishious take...

    one of the few apt stories for the title in this series...

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  43. Nethra
    Also take up the tag, Back to School Game..

    http://pendownmythought.blogspot.com/2010/08/back-to-school.html

    --Someone Is Special--

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  44. Ohhh a disappointing but practical ending I'd say. But at the end of it at least she realizes who she actually loved.. beautiful story :)

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