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19 March 2010

A substitute

Sometimes he was so close and other times so faraway from her. She supposed the past still haunted him but whenever she tried talking about it, he always dismissed the topic saying he was just looking forward for a better future, a future with her.

He told her that he was glad that she had never left his side, in both easy and difficult times, but she wanted him to know that she was more than glad to be around him. Whenever he was around, she just couldn't take off her eyes off him and the way she was all praises for him made her friends suspect that she was in love. She surely loved him and had always loved him. It had started with mere friendship and along with time, it has grown into something stronger and purer than that.

Many-times, when they made love, he addressed her by his ex's name and that made her wonder whether she was merely a substitute for his ex, but she brushed away all doubts assuring herself that he was trying hard to get over his past, real hard. She knew it wasn't easy for him to give away his heart once again, not at all easy after a bad relationship. His ex had dumped him for riches and comfort. However, it appeared like he had started trusting her and was thinking about taking another chance. She hoped for the best.

"Hey, listen...I want to tell something, really important. It will surely surprise you. Shall we meet at the coffee shop that's near your office? 6'o clock should be fine?" He sounded really excited and she supposed finally he was going to tell her whatever she wanted to hear from him. She hoped he would tell her that he loved him.

She agreed and after hanging up the call, she couldn't help but jump around. She was happy... really happy.

When the clock showed 5:30, she brushed her hair and applied a coat of lipstick. She admired her reflection in the mirror. She had been the barbie doll of her college until his ex showed up. Nevertheless, she had always managed to get boys attention without even trying.

He was late, rather she was too early. She sipped-in the hot chocolate from her cup while she waited for him. She emptied her cup but he hadn't shown up. She wondered what he was up-to. She started humming a random tune and scribbling on the spare tissues that were on the table. She wrote, "I love you, too" on the last tissue.

Finally, he came and what she saw surely surprised her, but not the kind of surprise she was expecting. His ex waited at the door, while he walked inside. Before she could say or ask anything, he said, "Guess what? She came back to me. She told that she should have never left me". She didn't know what to tell, but managed to say, "Congrats!"

He asked, "I knew you would be glad. You always knew my heart wasn't with me, didn't you? It never would have worked between us. I love her, only her".

Fighting back the tears, she said, "Yes, I understand".

She left him with his ex who wasn't his ex anymore. He hadn't even asked her for a coffee. On the way out, she dumped the tissue into a bin. She realized, after all she was only a substitute...

56 comments:

  1. hey Nethra, that was well narrated..emotions well captured..I quite liked the description of the character.. :)

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  2. awesome nethra!loved it to the corembeautifully described

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  3. Nice try... Loved the narration

    A very vivid description of human emotions

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  4. By the way Today I Learnt that the 'go to top' button at the bottom right corner makes the page scroll upwards smoothly instead of just jumping to the top!

    Its fun to do it again and again!

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  5. Very well expressed. Loved it! :) The title is apt! Great work.

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  6. well written story...she should have known better!

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  7. hey really nice story..liked it! :)

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  8. Neha
    I'm glad you liked it. I try to feel the emotions so my words portray them properly. Thanks for the comment. :)

    Vineet
    Thanks for visiting my blog. I'm glad you liked the story. :)

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  9. Saurabh
    If my words portrayed the emotions properly then I'm glad I wrote the story.
    Thanks for the comment. :)

    The Virgin Author
    I'd to work a lot on the title. I'm glad I found a good one, in the end. Thanks for the comment.

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  10. Nalini
    Don't they say love is blind? But yes, she should have known better. Thanks for the comment. :)

    abc
    Thanks for visiting my blog and reading the story. I'm glad you liked it. :)

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  11. Saurabh
    Yes, its fun to play with "go to top" button. Even I played with it for awhile. :P

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  12. Greate Job Nethra...Well narrated.
    Well, she let him off easily :(

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  13. Yes...

    Quite touchy...

    Well narrated..and well written...

    This shows how people can use you when they require and throw you in the dustbin when the work is over...

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  14. Woah, awesome story, Nethra! Heart-rendering...

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  16. This is one of your best posts..By default, I love sad endings and your post had one..I dont find flaws with any of the three characters in your story..It is just an act of destiny..Very close to reality..liked it so much..:)

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  17. Megha
    I guess she finally realized what an asshole he was. She didn't wanna waste her energy by putting up a fight with him.
    I'm glad you liked the narration. Thanks! :)

    Ketam
    Yes, few people use others as things, but we can't help it sometimes. We let them use though we realize that we are being used.
    Thanks for the comment. I feels good to know that someone liked my work. :)

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  18. Parth
    Thanks for the comment. It feels good to know that people like my work and also take time to post such wonderful comments.
    Thanks again! :)

    Mahesh
    Thanks for the comment. :)

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  19. vamsi
    You like sad endings, huh? I don't fancy them but I like writing stories with sad endings. Thanks for appreciating my effort. :)

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  20. hey nice yaar i love the way you narrate every story !

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  21. iss Nethra,
    Its a story thats been seen or heard many a time before but the way its scripted makes it really interesting (by taking emotions on a ride) but painful considering how the story ends. I guess that the stories which end with a pinch of tragedy tend to move human emotions more than those that have happy endings. Yet, people question others or even themselves about why life treats some people harshly. I wonder if there's an answer to it.
    Anyways, keep writing and all the best for many more wonderful writings from u.

    -Vamsy

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  22. Tooo good Nethra :) That was a very touching story and narrated very well!!

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  23. Sumathi
    I wondering when you are gonna read my stories and tell me how it is. You finally did. Thanks! :) I'm glad you liked it. :)

    Vk
    Its our choices that results in either happy or sad ending, isn't it? Sometimes we feel we are happy but we are only fooling ourselves. We need to make right choices and do whats good for us. Thanks for reading the story and for the comment. :)

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  24. hash
    Thanks for the comment. :)

    evanescentthoughts
    I'm glad you liked it. Thanks! :)

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  25. Hey Nethra,
    thts was real nice..nice buildup of emotion..like the way u write..If u dnt mind wld like to stalk you :-)
    I also liked some poems u wrote & have written some myself..
    Keep up the good work!

    www.soulatma.blogspot.com

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  26. Hi Nethra,

    Very well written. The ending was too good. Loved it!!

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  27. awesome story
    very well written
    and also a great template

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  28. Nethra,

    Superb Love Story :-) Very well narrated. You are the best in narrating things well. Great :-)

    Yours Frendly,
    Saravana Kumar M

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  29. Pravin
    I'm glad you liked the stories and the emotions within it.
    I'm wondering what you wanna talk. Well! I have sent a request on gtalk, just accept it.
    I'll surely read your poems.
    Anyway, thanks for the comment. :)

    Shwetha
    Thanks for visiting my blog and reading the story. :)

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  30. Vinayak
    You liked the template? I loved it.
    Thanks for the comment. :)

    Saravana
    I'm still learning and I hope one day I will do better than this.
    Thanks for the appreciating my effort. :)

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  31. Nice post
    -------
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    Please submit your blog or url on my blog to incease your blog visits.
    Look at my blog first and you are going to know how it works
    http://free-blog-submit-linkexchange.blogspot.com/

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  32. Hey that was an awesome story Nethra... brilliant naration... looking fwd to some more of these! But i must say, the guy in the story was quite a jackass...

    Cheers!
    Blog:Sensible Bakwas

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  33. @nethra:ohh thts whts called not reading the fine print :) I said I wanted to stalk(in a humorous way, meaning follow) not TALK :)

    But, in any case, if you have added, its cool :)

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  34. Tragic endings always do good storylines, I feel they give us a chance to play with emotions and see.......probably thats why you might be writing them :) atleast thats why I end up doing, though I always try not too

    I've said it before and I am saying it again, you have simple and beautiful narrative style.......always a good read!

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  35. So dats so sad , but a hard reality i must say ! Beautifully wirtten !!

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  36. The heading...did the very best thing to make it an striking ending.

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  37. free-blog-submit-linkexchange
    I dont do link-exchange. Thanks! :)

    Tavish
    He is, for sure. I'm happy you liked the narration. Thanks! :)

    Pravin
    I'm really sorry. :)

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  38. Mural
    Its really inspiring when you get appreciated for your work. Thanks for the the comment. It felt good. :)

    adreamygal
    Such things happen, we can't help it. Anyway, thanks for the comment. :)

    Apoyando
    I couldn't think of a title when I was writing the story. I'm glad I came up with this title. Thanks! :)

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  39. This short story can bring out emotions even in the most insensitive hearts too!

    www.krishnachaitanya.in/blog

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  40. Well written Nethra.. The story had a nice flow.. But I knew it would have a sad ending.. :( :(

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  41. Very well written!! Thanks for voting for my post on IndiVine..

    sonali
    http://bollywoodstylediaries.blogspot.com

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  42. Krishna
    Thanks for the comment. :)

    Pooja
    I too hate sad endings, but things like this happen. We can't help it. Thanks for the comment. :)

    bollywoodstylediaries
    Thanks! :)

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  43. Such a user and a loser..but such is life..

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  44. 若對自己誠實,日積月累,就無法對別人不忠了。........................................

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  45. Truly sad.Some men can be so insensitive and opportunists.
    But the fault lies with the girl too.She shouldn't have fallen in love with a man who was in love with another.
    Well-written Nethra :))

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  46. Purba
    Exactly. Shits happen. Thanks for the comment. :)

    sm
    Thanks. :)

    Samadrita
    I have heard that love happens and we do not plan it. Thanks for the comment. :)

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  47. Nice piece - very relatable (especially in the beginning), and well composed in such a small space. You're a fun writer!

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  48. AWESOME !!! ... I knew the climax, the anticlimax, the screen-play or whatever, still your writing has left a mark... nice to have stumbled upon your blog.

    Thanks - that made a really nice read. !!!
    Keep blogging...!!

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  49. allaboutjoy
    I'm glad you like it. Thanks for the comment. :)

    Varun
    Thanks for appreciating my work. I'm happy for you enjoyed the story. :)

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  50. woooooo what a tragic end of the story... cud happen with anyone

    mostly we saw the reserve of this... person who is hurt when his/her ex left is inclined to the person who support and care him/her!!!

    but this thing is more hurting

    Very nice story Nethra... Like it

    Keep the gud working coming :) :)

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  51. Himanshu
    Trust me, its more than just hurtful.
    Anyway, thanks for leaving a comment. Your feedback is really appreciated. :)

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